I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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