Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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