you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
