She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize