We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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