You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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