His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
