I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
