If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
