her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
