..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize