yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
