He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
