Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
