I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize