I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Acid is not a monday night drug
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
