Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
