pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
