i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
