Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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