You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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