I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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