Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Your tits are I can't wait for
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
