Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
