how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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