Already got asked if we're dating
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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