She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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