maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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