I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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