smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
