It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
