why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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