It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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