I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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