he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
