So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
3 2 1 whiskey
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