Who did Billy Mays play for?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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