how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
