Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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