i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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