Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Operation Purity has been aborted
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
