So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
