People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
