um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
