you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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