Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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