Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
