Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
