porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
did i just pee glitter
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
