hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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