There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm really busy with my period
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