its not stalking. its research.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
