So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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