she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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