Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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