im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
