Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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