dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
