Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I sprained my soul last night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize