i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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